This is another interesting topic from the parenting course I am taking from a local community college.  It is about the hurried child.  Hurried children are basically the ones missing out on play time during their younger years.  Instead, they are hurried by having strict and busy schedules, they are pressured to perform well (excelling in academics and sports), and they are exposed to things that their young minds cannot yet understand (drugs and sex).

Some parents feel pressured to sign their children up for as many activities as possible.  They are afraid that they are not stimulating their children enough if they just go home and play.  Apparently, a little bit of boredom is ok as this can initiate creative imagination in children.  For example, children in third world countries do not have the luxury to sign-up for soccer or gymnastics classes.  To ease their boredom, they play soccer with their next door neighbors instead.  A ball made of straw is used (example of imagination being activated) instead of a real soccer ball. 

How to avoid having a hurried child: 

(thanks to one of my classmates who compiled this list)

1. Make sure you give you children a good amount of unstructured time.  Encourage your children to be children.  Give them lots of free time to explore their worlds and play.   Sometimes, you can get involved with them in this play.  Other times, leave them alone to use their imagination and play on their own. Knowing that there is a link between boredom and creativity means that sometimes, we need to set the stage for kids to initiate the play.

2. Before signing your child up for the next class or activity, talk with them and ask a few questions.  For example:  “What is your favorite thing about this (class, sport, event)?”, ” What do you wish you had more time to do?”, “Why do you want to be involved in this?”, “What are you willing to give up in order to have time to be involved?”,  After the discussion, review his or her answers and evaluate the true desire or lack thereof to guide you in making future plans. I thought this was a great list of questions to consider when signing your children up for activities.   Give your children a few days to think about it so they can make an informed decision.

3. Parents should appreciate each of their children for their individual talents, interests, and abilities. Try to involve them in activities that would not have a negative impact in your family schedule.  There are some things you can just do at home with your children to encourage and use their special talents.  It doesn’t always have to be a class outside of the home.

4. “ It is our job as parents to know where our children are, who their friends are, as well as what they are reading, watching on television, viewing on the Internet, listening to, and being influenced by.” I liked the idea of not viewing as much TV. We need to remember that they are better off left to their own devices and find something to do, than to just plop them in front of the TV.

5. Practice saying “I love you” to one another. It’s absolutely impossible to say those three words and be frantic at the same time. I love the idea of making sure these words are spoken frequently in the home. It is true that you can’t say them when you are crazy and running around. Also, just slowing down in general and trying to have a calm presence helps.

6. Finally, we are not just talking about “the hurried child” here but also “the hurried parent”. I think we need to look carefully at our own schedules and make sure we aren’t doing too much outside the home. It is hard to balance time alone with each individual child in the family, play time for the kids, structured activities for the kids, alone time for each parent, date night for parents, and then family time. There just aren’t enough hours in a week to make sure all those needs are met,.  The goal I think is to continue to be aware of how every individual is feeling and see what can be adjusted if the balance gets out of whack. Good food for thought!

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