CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL, Seattle, WA

Children’s Resource Center

ONE TECHNIQUE FOR IMPROVING A CHILD’S BEHAVIOR AND SELF-ESTEEM

Definition: Child Directed Play (CDP) is one-to-one play interaction between a parent and (one) child in which the child is helped to direct and lead the play in any way the child wishes, unless there is harmful or destructive activity.

Recommended Age of Child: Primarily for children ages 2-5, although variations of the procedures described below can be used with children from ages 6-10.

Objectives of CDP (in order of importance)

• To enhance child’s sense of self-direction and self-confidence.
• To increase opportunities for the child’s access to focused parental attention without having to rely on negative or provocative behavior to do so.
• To strengthen and enhance the parent-child relationship.
• To help the parent practice specific child rearing skills such as imitation, praising, giving and withholding attention for selected child behaviors.

Procedures

Dos:

1. Follow the child:

• • Locate your self physically close to child and, within reason, move where the child moves.
  • Watch the child’s play activity closely.

2. Describe play actions:

• • Provide verbal descriptions of some of the child’s specific play activities with toy materials (e.g. “There goes the car over the bridge,” “You put the blue block on top!”). You don’t have to describe everything; occasional descriptions are best!

3. Imitate (or copy) some of the things that your child does:

• • With toy materials (e.g. repeating something your child has done with blocks).
  • Verbally repeating, with some elaboration, what your child has just said (e.g. if your child says, “There’s the bus,” you could say, “Yes, there goes the long, yellow bus up the hill.” This is a good way to increase a young child’s vocabulary without directly teaching).

4. Praise appropriate behavior occasionally:

• • Praise behavior specifically (“You’re really being careful with those blocks” rather than just saying “Good job”).
  • You can praise what your child does (“You’re a good tower builder”) and how they do it (“You’re stacking those blocks so carefully and quietly”).
  • Don’t praise too much, just occasionally. Excessive parental praising during CDP can take away from the child’s direction of the activity.

DON’TS:

1. No commands regarding behavior or toys (e.g. “Let’s play with the house,” “Don’t get out the blocks yet).
2. Do not change direction of the play. Your child should decide the direction of the play. Refrain from giving the child your play ideas.
3. No teaching:

• • CDP should not be a time to quiz your child about her/his knowledge.
  • Allow your child to play with toys in any manner that is not harmful. Remember, there is no one “right way” to play with a toy.

4. No or few questions:

• • Questions are a subtle way of taking control or teaching (“Don’t you want to build a tower?” “Is that a tower?” “What color is that block?”).
  • Asking a lot of questions can set up a power struggle (e.g. your child may deliberately not answer).

Handling Misbehavior During CDP:

1. In the event of destructive, physically aggressive, harmful behavior (hitting, running away, breaking valuable items), stop CDP, briefly explain why, and walk away or handle as you normally would.
2. In the event of “annoying” behavior (arguing, whining, complaining, bossiness, rudeness, crying, “wound-up” behavior):

• • Stop interacting with child; turn away if behavior continues.
  • Begin interacting only when behavior stops.
  • Praise the opposite of the annoying behavior when it eventually occurs (e.g. if child was playing roughly, praise careful play when it is observed).
  • If “waiting out or ignoring” the child’s annoying behavior for two or three minutes doesn’t work, then stop CDP as in step 1.

Implementing Child’s Game at Home

Time:

1. Ten-15 minutes. You may want to set a definite ending time that the child is told about. Give child a warning when only a minute or two of CDP is left (“We can play for two more minutes, and then I have to stop.”).
2. Do CDP about three to seven times per week, about the same time each day (if possible).
3. Establish a time that doesn’t compete with child’s favorite activity, playing with friends or favorite television show.
4. Set up a time which can be undisturbed (when other children are asleep, other parent can prevent interruptions).

Types of Toys:

1. Toys that the child already knows how to use (does not need to be taught).
2. Blocks, cars and trucks, dolls, Fisher-Price toys, kitchen toys, puzzles, and coloring activities all tend to work well.
3. No competitive games (can get into winning and losing, follow rules, power struggles).
4. No books if the child is not yet able to read (parental reading doesn’t let child take the lead).

Setting:

1. Pick an undisturbed quiet area (no television, other children, people, pets).

How to present CDP to your child:

1. Explain that it is your child’s “special” time (e.g. “I will play only with you.“).
2. Children should be told of the time limit, if there is one (“We’ll play until the timer goes off.”).
3. Child is given the choice of toys or what to play (“You can pick any of these toys.”).
4. If child says “no” to your suggestion of CDP, don’t argue or push. Offer again the next day. Do not agree to do it only when your child demands that you do it.

Written by Matthew L. Speltz, Ph.D., Department of Child Psychiatry, Children’s Hospital and Medical Center. Based on previous research and clinical work by Drs. Connie Hanf, Rex Forehand and Sheila Eyberg.

Some folk generally old who are facing sundry soundness problem, such persons can get drugs from the Web without any problem. There are a number of reliable internet drugstores that will offer legitimate discounts. Finasteride is one of the unimprovable treatment options of all time. If you’re concerned about Finasteride, you have to learn about propecia price and propecia cost. How you can get detail info about finasteride price? Here are few key points about Finasteride and finasteride cost. Alopecia is the general medical term for hair loss. By the way, there are some of possible explanations and pharmacists are commonly able to pinpoint your problem through tests. Of course, take Finasteride exactly as set by your soundness care producer. Remember that purchasing medicines without a prescription folk usually get false generics.