I am taking an online early childhood credit at my local community college. This fortnight, we are learning about sibling rivalry. I found my notes on this topic helpful to parents with more than one kid.
Why do siblings fight?
Siblings tend to fight about: toys, parents attention, sharing food, calling names, TV to name a few.
I found the following solutions from the articles I read really helpful:
- describing the feeling of the children during the conflict
- not comparing between children
- commenting only on the disagreeable behavior
- giving according to the sibling’s individual need
- letting children work out the problem on their own
- exposing them to different interests to avoid conflict
- coaching your children by using appropriate words
- the parent should model the behavior for their children
- discussing the problem when the children are calm
- focusing on the problem and not on finding who is to blame
- arriving at a compromise, making it a win-win situation
- problem solve by writing down possible solutions involving the children
- parents should be proactive in giving children attention
- assuring each sibling of your love and that their needs will be met
- have fun as a family to increase the children’s bond with the parent
- creating a schedule for use of equipment eg tv, video games
- hold family meetings,reminding children of the rules
- organising separate activities with each sibling occasionally
- I read this from a love and logic book: saying enforceable statements, for example if the children are fighting in the car say: ‘I charge $2/min from your allowance to listen to children that are fighting’, instead of ‘stop fighting!’
You can email me at info@seattlelearningcenter.com if you want me to elaborate on some of the tips I have mentioned here.
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