Starting childcare is a big milestone for both parents and children. Hard drop offs can cause for some distraction and worry for parents during the work day. We do our best to coach parents through a drop off routine that will set their child up for success and help them transition into childcare, helping both children and parents to be confident with their new daily schedule. Reconnecting is also an important part of this process! Continue reading for ways you can make separating and reconnecting a positive experience for you, your child, and your child’s teacher.

SEPARATING

Arrive on time and greet your teacher as a friend, someone to whom you are comfortable entrusting your child. Your child needs to hear from you that he will be safe when you are not there.

Tell your child when you’ll return—“I’ll be here after you eat your lunch.” Some children need to hear what you will do without them. (Don’t make it sound too fun, though!) Do not leave without saying good-bye. Learning to say good-bye and building trust that you will come back can only be taught to your child by you.  When you are ready to separate from your child, engage the teacher in the process. Teachers will hold back, waiting for your cue. When you hand your child over to his teacher, you are confirming your trust in that adult.

When you say, “Goodbye, I am leaving now,” do not linger.  Lingering after you have already told your child you will leave, creates mistrust and says “I don’t do/mean what I say.”  Say good-bye quickly and confidently, reassuring your child that you know his teachers will take good care of him and have lots of fun things to do. Save any distress you may be feeling about leaving your little one until you are out the door; that distress will be translated as fear and will rattle the most confident of children.

Find your comfort level. Call the office as many times as you need or stay in the office until you are secure that your child has made a successful separation.

RECONNECTING

The intense feelings a child has upon reconnecting have not always been accorded the same respect as separation. While a child may be adjusting wonderfully to the activities in the classroom, she is exerting great energy in learning how to cope, taking chances in a new environment, handling situations she has never before encountered, and watching for reactions from the “new” adults in her life. When you walk back into the room, it may well release a flood of emotions—from pure joy and excitement to tears of relief that you did, in fact, come back! Whatever the reaction, respect the intensity of those feelings as well as the overwhelming need she has for your undivided attention.

A basic tenet of Early Childhood Education is to always be eye level with a child. Not only is this a sign of respect and personal concern, but it also eliminates other distractions. Quietly approaching your child, kneeling down to his level, and offering a hug and smile will end the school session on a wonderfully positive note and begin your time with him just as positively. These few short moments are a truly worthwhile investment.

Say good-bye to your child’s teacher, putting the final positive spin on the day; then leave with your child. For many weeks, your child’s anxiety level will be relatively high at this time. Your reconnection needs to stay personal and quiet, giving your child time to calm down in his most secure environment—with you.

Don’t be surprised if your child cannot recount the happenings of his day. You will likely find out more during a quiet moment at bedtime than you will as he is reconnecting and settling back into the world he knows best.

You are your child’s life teacher and as is the case with so many other parenting issues, re-examining your own attitudes about transitions is helpful when passing on these life skills.

“Most of what children need to learn during their early childhood years cannot be taught; it’s discovered through play.” Ruth Wilson