Bringing a second child into the world is absolutely terrifying. I had so many questions running through my head and even felt like a bad mom for imposing such an intense change to Dahlia’s life. I do know how ridiculous that is but mom guilt is a crazy thing. Now that her little brother, Johnny, is here it has been the best thing ever. She transitioned wonderfully and loves him so much. Here are a few things we did to help ease her transition into big sisterhood.
- We put out Johnny’s stuff early. Like really early, maybe halfway through my pregnancy? We had out his crib, his diapers, the boppy pillows, and his clothes. We wanted Dahlia to see his stuff around the house so she could get used to it. The goal was for it to just become a part of the house and not an invasion of objects, especially when her brother was also going to come and take over some of her space. This also gave us an opportunity to explain what they were and who they were for! She was particularly interested in his diapers.
- We read two books to her about becoming a big sister a lot. They are pictured below. Books are such a powerful tool and I highly recommend reading books for any big change or transition! If you ever need a book recommendation please reach out and let us know.
- We used her baby dolls as an example for her little brother. She helped us change the baby’s diaper, burp the baby, and she pushed the baby in her own little stroller all around the neighborhood for months. We told her that babies cry a lot and we practiced making crying noises as well as what we could do when the baby was crying.
- Once Johnny was here we were really intentional about protecting her space and favorite toys. We asked if he could come in her room with her if she was playing alone and she has always said yes (we wanted to respect her alone time if that is what she needed). If I propped up stuffies or books that were hers for him to look at during tummy time she occasionally got possessive so we talked about how those toys were special to her and she didn’t want her brother to play with them. Most of the time she is happy to share her things and often offers them to him but there are a few moments where she is unhappy with him “using” her stuff which is ok! I don’t expect her to want to share all the time.
- Johnny uses a pacifier and Dahlia was weaned from hers at 6 months. Occasionally she will take his and play with it by walking around and sometimes suck on it. We don’t really pay any attention to it because we don’t want to make a big deal of her playing with the paci. After experimenting with the it for a short period of time she typically gets bored with the pacifier and finds Johnny to give it back to him. We have a lot lying around the house so we never need the one Dahlia has.
I hope some of these tips are useful and a good starting point for you as you prepare your child for another sibling! I added some links to articles below that have also been helpful for us in this transition.
https://childmind.org/article/preparing-child-new-sibling/
Articles
Language Guide for Adults
Social Intelligence (referenced on home page)
“Hey Parents, Leave Those Kids Alone”
Risk is Essential to Childhood
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent ChildLove and Logic
How Can Exercise Improve Learning?
How to Choose the Right Kindergarten School
Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina Book Summary
The Hurried Child
Miseducation- Preschoolers at Risk- Book Review
Caring for Infants with Respect
Stress Management- How to Become Calm
Social Intelligence (referenced on home page)
“Hey Parents, Leave Those Kids Alone”
Risk is Essential to Childhood
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent ChildLove and Logic
How Can Exercise Improve Learning?
How to Choose the Right Kindergarten School
Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina Book Summary
The Hurried Child
Miseducation- Preschoolers at Risk- Book Review
Caring for Infants with Respect
Stress Management- How to Become Calm